


Joseph Brown

by LandonShackard



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Teen Wolf (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LandonShackard/pseuds/LandonShackard
Summary: A love letter to my first and last worst best thing.
Kudos: 2





	Joseph Brown

Brown is suddenly my favourite colour and it is entirely your fault. I can’t stop noticing it. My desk is brown, my dresser is brown; so is my bedside table, and my floorboards. I had always known but never saw that the wood grains and soil of my home is the colour of your hair… your eyes… your skin.

I hate you for that. I was fine with white. I look great in white, I only look fine in brown, so why should it be my favourite colour? It has done absolutely nothing to deserve the title, other than being the colour I associate with you. Your fault.

You don’t feel the same way about me, I know. You don’t feel for blue what I feel for brown. And that’s fine. It’s to be expected. I have long since come to terms with the fact that love is the world’s best inside joke, and that I’ll always be on the outside of it. I don’t get to know what everyone else smiles and laughs about when they are alone together. Sharing shy glances, stifling snorts when I am around because I would simply not understand what’s so funny.

Love is not for me. It is too expensive an emotion. Brown is not for me. It is not something you would willingly share. So, I hate you and I love you and I cannot wait to wake up one morning and not think about you. I cannot wait for it to be three in the afternoon before I notice the colour brown, and realise it is the first time I’ve noticed it in months. I cannot wait to try and remember why I should be noticing it in the first place, having forgotten what the colour ever even meant to me. I cannot wait for your name to be nothing but a sensation at the tip of my tongue. I cannot wait to not know you.

I hate you. I hate brown. I completely fucking love you. And I am not going to do a thing about it.

**Author's Note:**

> yeet emotions, am I right?


End file.
